Yesterday was Women's Day celebrations in office.

As is the practice every year, the girls in my dept (about 40-50) get dressed in ethnic wear (usu. saree) and come to office. We all get roses (bought after pooling in money ourselves), and meet at sometime during the day, sit together, have introductions around the group, have snacks,show off talent, rag some newcomers and generally have fun.

Something we do during the day is combat a range of questions addressed to us by our male colleagues:

"When is Men's Day?"

"What has wearing a saree got to do with womens issues?"

"Why do you ladies need a separate day to celebrate Women's Day, when we don't have any such thing"

Some smartass immediately answers: "That's because all other 364 days in a year are Men's Day".

Yet again, another wisecrack from the womens section is "Men's Day is on April 1. Don't you know that?"

etc. etc.

A colleague of mine pointed out something interesting to me. In the newspaper, there was a picture of 2 women sitting on a heap of broken glass (yes, broken glass!) from broken bulbs, and sorting out/cleaning/ something of the sort. The glass was most probably piercing their feet (which would have been bleeding, and probably used to the bleeding), and they were bearing it just because the work would entitle them to the meagre wages they earned each day to support their family. The picture was heartbreaking.

The fun we had in office was a stark and maybe cruel contrast to the picture, because it represented how isolated we were from problems real women face daily in this country, and in this world. I received emails throughout the day about women-power and how wonderful women were, and all I could think of was the picture.

But then, as I thought about it, I realized there were two sides to the coin after all:

One side being: Yes, we (who are cloistered in these IT concrete jungles) should spend some moments of our lives actually thinking of the women out there who are living difficult and unbearable lives, women who earn wages themselves and at the end of the day hand it over to their husbands keeping none of it for themselves, women who will feed their children and family but go hungry night after night, women who are burnt because of dowry issues/superstition, women who are beaten and abused day-in and day-out, women and very young girls on the road who beg at the traffic signals, and have little babies in their hands (it always amazes me to think that there are men out there who make these destitute women pregnant when they cannot take care of even themselves), female children who are killed in the womb because of their gender, Pre-puberty girl children married off/sold to aging men/brothels, girl children not sent to school because the parents have to afford her brothers education and so on... In fact, if possible, we shouldn't just spend some moments thinking about these girls/women, but doing something about them. Maybe fund a girl child, or join organizations that do service to women, or teach illiterate girls for free, or speak up against atrocities against women, and all that. Not for glory or for getting your pic in some newspaper/website, but as an expression of gratitude to the creator who didn't make you as unfortunate as them. There should be moments in our lives when we feel guilty if we take life for granted, if we, for even one moment, underestimate the power of money and squander it on things that we don't need, if we crinkle our noses on those unfortunate people or forget that they exist... Women empowerment should be taken to the streets and evils against women (however cliched they may sound) should be done away with.

But I also think of the other side of the coin. Yes, the women in IT concrete jungles are the fortunate ones compared to the ones I spoke about in the paragraph preceding this one. But I don't think that most women in this group lead unbelievably happy lives. The group of women, in my office or in any office for that matter, I'm sure would have many stories to tell: of how we have to protect ourselves from every leering man, groping hand and sexual innuendos we come across each day - and this is not only from when we join college/work, but from the age of 1. Every bus/train ride for a woman in India is a prospect for some type of molestation.Every girl would have atleast 5 different incidents to recite when asked about the comments she's received on parts of her anatomy.Most women have been followed by a man atleast once in her life, and many have been exploited/abused my members of her own family. And this is just the abuse story before marriage.

After marriage, women in IT struggle to balance the needs of the home and office.Waking up in the morning,making and packing food for the family,cleaning up the house,sometimes managing family members,paying the bills,coming to office and working in the corporate environment where she has to struggle to keep her place and be given the same amount of respect that male colleagues get,brush away the sexual overtones in office,handle male subordinates who refuse to respect her and male managers who are either indifferent/underestimate her/are too careful with her,come back home,buy groceries and household stuff,if they have kids - teach the children,worry about their marks/reports from school, their psychological profile (cos children whose mothers work are a mixed bag of emotions and feelings of insecurity), worry about their sickness and health, and if they don't have kids - worry about pregnancy issues/undergo treatment/be questioned about infertility/worry that the gender of their unborn child will become an issue in their family,cook dinner and think about what to keep ready for the next day,have arguments/fights with their partners, worry about compatibility issues with partners/family members and finally plonk themselves on a bed ready for the next day.Getting time for themselves might sound like a joke.

Of course, this is a sum total of a lot of the problems that exist, and everyone's life may not be exactly like this. And since there are devils in each avatar, I am ready to accept that devils do exist cloaked as women. But somehow, that section of population isn't all that large, so we can refrain from ignoring the real problems of the rest just because some of them happen to be bad apples.

My point at the end of it all is that while it is important for the newspap ers and the media to notice the very evident problems of women out there (of course, they don't do much about the problems other than report them) who struggle each day for bread and butter and the right to live in general; lets not forget that for each and every woman in India, each day brings a fresh repertoire of struggles, wherever and whatever she may be. It is important to wish women on Women's Day just as a mark of respect for their endurance and their capability, and for the fact that they all are alive and prepared to endure responsibilities and problems of life.

Women's Day is for women to show their solidarity and support to each other. To remember to have fun on their own and to forget day-to-day problems. In addition, we also have to remember that every constructive thing we do for the cause of women sows the seeds of an easier life for our upcoming generations. This should be the motivation for supporting any cause for social empowerment of women.

And please don't crinkle your nose at any woman - even if she is on a street in a dishevelled and smelly attire with a baby in her hands, begging at the traffic signal or if she is in a party in an expensive dress looking like she's having fun - because you don't know which one of them is contemplating suicide the next day.