Life is taking new turns for me with the new year. Some parts of my life is still mundane enough, with my daily routine of coming to office at 7.30 and going back home at 5.00 and sometimes at 8.00. But otherwise,: 1) I'm learning car-driving: Been going to this driving school in Koramangala, and have gone thru 12 classes - enuf to be able to steer the car properly, use the brakes, accelerator, clutch and gears. Haven't been taught reverse yet - that shud be done in my next class. And after 3 more classes, I shud be able to go for the driving test. Eeek. a small sliver of fear crawled up my spine right now. Will I pass? Won't I? Will I? Won't I?... the questions keep coming in my mind. I've learnt one thing though - I'm not such a bad driver after all. I can drive on the lonely residential streets, and maybe even for a little while on the busy mainline roads. Only thing is that I just don't relax in the driver's seat. I'm so used to sitting upright and uptight at work, that I do the same even while driving and my instructor gets tired, trying to tell me to relax. And the other thing is that I swerve wildly when I see a dog in the middle of the road, however, I just don't notice human beings while they walk on the road, and keep forgetting to honk. End result being: My instructor tells me: "Kutthe ki jaan ki aapko parwah he, magar aadmi ko maarne mein koi darr nahin?". Roughly translated, that means: "You're worried about the life of a dog, but have no qualms about killing a man or two?" 2) I've applied for my passport: My childhood passport expired long long ago, and now I've finally applied for a passport re-issue. A long drawn out process which included a change-of-name submission, affidavit, printing the new name in the paper, providing the expired passport and taking 1000s of copies, filling two-three different forms, and standing for hours and hours @ the regional passport office and submitting it on 21 dec 2005. The police verification is done, and I shud be able to get my passport within a month now. What a relief! 3) I'm getting married!: Wait, now that did stun you didn't it :) Well, that was purely done for effect, and is as a blatant lie as I can get close to. The truth is, I'd like to get married this year, but haven't found the right guy. Somehow, things r just not as I imagined it. I wud have liked to find the right guy, somewhere, somehow; How would I know he was the right guy - well, in my imagination, I knew exactly how his eyes would look - how they'd peer out and be able to see through to my soul - how our minds would connect and our hearts would talk to each other. I know, I know; that's full blast romantic stuff straight outta the movies. But yes, that's exactly how I'd imagined it. All thru my childhood and my adolescence, I'd think: Yes, someone somewhere is there, made just for me. Someone enchanting, sweet n humorous, courageous and strong, a man of his words... someone who'd make me feel special and wonderful. And as I imagined it, I wud be meeting this person somewhere and just know that he was right. Yet, things never really work out like that, do they? Magic and miracles r only for books and movies, as is love. The truth is, you may find someone but he may not be right as far as your parents n your future is concerned. The other truth is, that you may really never find that special someone at all. The second one applies to me. I looked everywhere but never could find that someone with those eyes that I would recognize. Today at this late stage that I am at (late, cos I'm definitely a little too worldly wise to fall head over heels in love) all I can go for is try to find a guy through the well tried and tested arranged marriage process, and then try to adjust myself to him. And I'm headed that way, though it may not be the way my heart wants to follow. And then the reality is, how do I go the way my heart wants to go... I don't think the right man/'the' man is going to be seated on a bench in a park, waiting for me to come and whisk him away to the sunset. Besides, after seeing all the men around me, I've come to realize that romance probably never really exists for them. So I've just had to chuck my dreams and dumb hopes in the garbage bin, and just go in the direction the wind is blowing. I haven't got any closer to even settling for a guy who's nice and comfortable, so I don't know if marriage is anywhere in the near future. And hence, this point of mine is a total lie - something I've used to carp about my current situation. Well, three points are enough for now, so let me take the liberty of going back to the piles of work I have... Anyway, Who knows what the future holds for anyone.
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