Yay! My blog has crossed 10,000 hits! Whoa.. what a whopping number of visits. Amazing.

Thanks a lot to all of you who've made this possible... *Sniff*. I'm getting sentimental :)...Thanks for coming here, for reading my rants, ideas, opinions, and some of my rubbish too...

The 10,000th visit is credited to someone who searched for Paani+Themb+lyrics. Hmmm... sadly, I've to apologize to that person, cos I really don't have the lyrics or translation of Dhagala Lagli in my blog. Its only that I've mentioned it in an older post, cos I choreographed a dance for the same number.

This brings me to some interesting facts :). In case you are wondering (and even if you are not *wicked smile*) here are the popular search words that people use to end up on my blog (I'm removing some of the words in the search to generalize each of them) - in no particular order:

• Emraan+Hashmi
• Dhagala+lagli+kada (ppl are usually looking for translations/lyrics)
• Aika+Dajiba (translations/lyrics for this one too)
• Kangana+Ranaut (lots of people searching for this one)
• Naresh+Iyer (by far the most popular topic)
• Siddharth+Trisha (lots of searches individually for Siddharth and Trisha too)
• Shiny+Ahuja (pretty popular search word post Gangster)
• Paatshaala+lyrics
• shikha0807
• A.R.Rahman (and some specific songs of his)
• Kareena+Kapoor

Interesting stuff eh? I like screening the search terms which are used to come to my blog at times... it is pretty funny to note what people (like me) are searching for on the web :)

Anyway, coming back to the hits on my blog, its pretty interesting that I'm still getting lots of hits per day, even though I've officially moved to Wordpress.... Its a great feeling. Once again, thanks to all of you, and keep coming! :D

I'm finally almost ready to move, out from tblog.

I'm generally a person who gets very attached to the place I'm at, and tblog is no exception. Am feeling pretty wistful about saying goodbye to my black and blue template on tblog (since my new home can no more afford that luxury, and I have to pick n choose from predominantly white-gray based templates :( ).

tblog has been a good experience, and I still am partial to the tblog dashboard -where I can send tblurts, read tmail and have tfriends :), and where its easier to read the categories and recent blogs. But its a very basic blogging site, so I've decided that although the experience has been good, I need to move on to better stuff :)

Nevertheless, I will also hold on to tblog for some more time, esp. since I'm almost at 8000 visits (courtesy my film and music reviews ;) - I never really knew that people search Naresh Iyer, Shiny Ahuja, Kangana Raut, Emraan Hashmi, AR Rahman and Siddharth on such a regular basis :D).

And for people who are reading my blog and are interested in where I'm actually going: my new home is http:\shikha.wordpress.com. See you there!

Ooomz wanted to post these links in the comment to my 'Flickr' blog, but tblog unfortunately (beats the hell out of me to think why) doesn't allow http links in the comments [I'm seriously considering moving out of this place just because of this], so I'm posting the links here, for the benefit of the uninitiated-to-flickr:

FlagrantDisregard (its an online tool using which u can do different things with ur fotos on flickr, like making a Calendar for eg.)

Spell with Flickr (another cool tool)

You can also do a google on flickr for more cool stuff.

Enjoy :)

I've become a devout flickr enthusiast now. Been uploading a lot of pictures in the account LonelyInSpace, from my dance performances, personal pics, recent travels (I went to hogenakkal and Goa recently, but have yet to find time to update my blog on my experiences :) )... and I've just realized that I love posting pictures, and giving them descriptions, and organizing them online.

Flickr has been a nice experience; introduced to me by my trusted friend :), it allows you to upload some designated capacity of pictures each month, and lets you view the pictures in different sizes (which not many other picture storage sites allow). It also allows you to organize pictures into sets, and tag them, organize according to dates, view them in slideshows, post them to blogs, view other people's pictures, comment on them and get comments on yours, designate pictures as favorites etc. etc... Lots of cool stuff. All you need is a yahoo account.

I've just finished uploading some pictures of flowers I'd taken in my mum's garden (my mum spends hours in her garden, and at times, I've started thinking of the trees and plants that she has in it, as my siblings) and I thought I'd post little thumbnails (for your viewing pleasure :)), in this blog:

Went to see the movie Gangster yesterday.

Liked the film quite a bit - it has a fresh feel to it. None of the usual run-of-the-mill family drama, crying, sacrificial love etc. Rather, it has a hero who sports a gun in each hand, and guns down people like he was swatting mosquitoes. A heroine who for the most part of the movie totters on her feet drinking whisky and what not, and in one scene even tries to scavenge some left-over alcohol from a garbage bin, while being almost half naked, and totally sozzled. And a villain who's the picture perfect hero :)... all smiles, loving longing looks, kisses, singing sweet somethings to his beloved.

Shiny Ahuja is the pick of the movie. I'd heard he had created quite a stir from his performance in Hazaron Khwahishen Aisi, but his work in this movie must be nothing less. The man has superior control over his expressions; while the movie doesn't explore much of his Gangster side, except for showing him gun down a club full of people, his role will flip all weak-hearted women from the start (that includes me :) ). The gangster who loves his beloved without ever touching her, who views her with respect even while she's partially clothed and dancing in a bar in front of lecherous men, a man of few words whose eyes convey pain and eternal love for a woman he ran into while running away from the law, a man who would abandon all his years of life in crime and take up manual labor just to earn untainted money for his love... All of it sounds clichéd, but Shiny Ahuja makes it believable. From the start to the end. He may be the Gangster, and have the least dialogues in the whole movie, but you want him to succeed and win. Succeed in love and life. I thought it was an honest and damn-good portrayal. There is a scene when he's seriously wounded and is crying, or rather screaming, but with pain at being betrayed. That was heart-wrenching. I'm sure many in the theatre would have had a few drops of tears form in their eyes, but as for me, all I felt was pain. That scene is proof that this guy sure has the gumption to go far ahead.

What is to be said of Emraan-Serial-Kisser-Hash mi? I don't really like the guy, but I think he's pretty good and has the guts to do those grey-shaded characters that most conventional Hindi heroes run away from. He has unbelievable luck though to get away with all the best songs in recent times! Tu Hi Meri Shab Hai is a great track and Emraan has the perfect setting... guitar in hand, nightclub, looking into the eyes of the heroine Kangana Raut, amidst dim lighting... In the movie, he's done a pretty decent job, and is convincing enough.

Kangana Ranaut is the newcomer. The only thing I didn't like about her was her voice (which to me sounded pretty old). Otherwise, she is a find. I've been fed up in recent times seeing the same four faces splashed all over the movies: Rani Mukherjee, Preity Zinta, Kareena Kapoor and Priyanka Chopra. The same faces, smiles, pouts, tears ... Boring with a capital B. Kangana is a fresh face (although the close-up shots reveal a not so perfect one), with a stunning figure, and lots of wispy hair that blows in the wind. I was wondering who her designer in the movie was, for she's got some real cool clothes too. Kangana has done really well for a debutant and I do believe it was not just the director's capability. She has style and even in the sozzled scenes, she manages to look sexy and vulnerable, never crass or over-the-top. She's there in almost all the scenes of the movie, for it sort of revolves around her, and she manages to hold us glued throughout. I had my doubts whether she would fit into the typical Hindi mould anytime, cos her look is international and her first film is so much with anti-traditional-Hindi values. But there are some scenes of hers - where she wears a salwar kameez and is seen making chapathi, or fixing a leaking pipe, and some where she's swaying to vulgar beats in a dance bar, dressed in an excuse for a lehanga. In these scenes, she looks every part the Hindi heroine, and one can visualize her doing the marriage song routines in forthcoming films. Let's hope she can manage to get a foothold in this industry where newcomers come every minute, but few make it to the top.

The music of the movie is the main reason I went to see it. By now, all radio channels repeat Tu Hi Meri Shab Hai and Ya Ali every hour, and most mobiles sport the ringtones, so the success of the music isn't anything new to write about. I'm partial to both; can't decide between the two. When I hear Tu Hi Meri Shab Hai, I'm sure that's the one, but when Ya Ali plays, I feel engulfed into the song that speaks about sacrifice in the name of love. Bheegi Bheegi, Lamha Lamha, Mujhe Mat Roko etc are the other songs of the album - all are good, but these two are definitely scores that soothe the ear, mind and heart in recent times of nasal crooning by Mr. Himesh-I-can't-stand-him- Reshammiya.

Gangster has been shot in Seoul and the locations are picturesque. There are some other actors in the movie, but the only face I knew was that of Gulshan Grover. The three central characters fill the screen space so much so that you don't have the need for any other actors anyway.

To sum up, its a movie worth watching, and you'll enjoy the performances and the music...

The title (of this post) is gruesome, the reality is vile. 

Here's a post I recommend (on this subject), something that we should atleast spare a moment in our lives to think about:

The Day My God Died

Read about it, reflect, understand, and if possible, show your support to the cause!

I've taken a lot of tests on Blogthings and thought I'd put some of that stuff here. So get to know what color my blog should be (I'm not gonna change it thou), what color my eyes are and what is my hidden talent...

Been reading for some days about Naresh Iyer on the web and on numerous blogs. Although I did watch V channel Super Singer last year, I never got to see Naresh cos I started watching the show when the 6 finalists were shortlisted and from there on.

Naresh has been making waves for sometime esp after the music of Rang De Basanti came out and his Paatshaala, Roobaroo, and Tu Bin Bataye became popular. I, like every other music aficionado, started searching for other songs sung by this guy, and came across some Tamil albums namely Ah Aah, GodFather and Saravanaa. Listened to those songs, but this one song struck me like none other (the rest really didn't have the AR touch, but then I assume that I probably have to listen to them properly to let them grow on me). The song I got  hooked onto is Mayilirage from Ah Aah, sung by Madhushree and Naresh Iyer. The song is quite a piece, with wonderful thavil beats, that probably only AR Rahman can mix like this in this day of music :). I know nothing of Tamil actually (I can understand some words but I've never really been able to converse in the language/understand the song meanings - hey, btw if someone knows the meaning of this song or can translate it for me, I will be obliged to you :) ) but even I found Madhushree's pronunciation totally irritating. Tamil songs are usually free flowing, and Madhushree stutters across each word and the lyrics sound totally wierd when she sings the song. I love her voice though, so maybe I could bear with it.

Naresh Iyer in this song is radical. Listen to this part which he sings somewhere in the middle of the song (I took the lyrics from another blog :) so don't blame me if some parts of it r wrong - I anyway did make a few changes based on my hearing) My heart skips several beats when I listen to his voice here, I visualize wisps of feathers floating around and I feel those tugs and thumps of love deep inside me ...

uyirai thodanga varum
nee dhaane mei ezhuthu
naan podum kai ezhuthu anbae
ulagam mozhiyil varum ellame naer ezhuthu
kaadhal dhaan kal aRithu anbae

This guys voice is made for soft numbers. His voice in Tu Bin Bataye in Rang De Basanti is also amazing, esp. when he sings

mann ki gali tu phuhaaron si aa
bheeg jaye mere khwabon ka kafila
jise tu gungunaye meri dhun hai wahin
tu bin bataye mujhe le chal kaheen
jahan tu muskuraye meri manzil wahin

(Now these lyrics I can understand ;) ) Hearing him is like the feeling you get when tiny silvery snow flakes touch your face... his pronunciation, and the way his breath echoes some parts of the words; I'm totally hooked. I have heard some of the fast and peppy numbers he's sung and I think he's done a really good job, but with these two songs, he's the one new singer I'm really looking forward to hear more of.

Rahman has this penchant of picking up really class stuff out of the masses, and Karthik and Naresh are two of the real gems he's picked up in recent times. I have heard people say Naresh sounds like Karthik, but for me they belong to two totally different genres. Naresh's voice has a rough edge which is totally intriguing (listen to Roobaroo to get my point), while Karthik for me is trained and soulful, controlled yet free-flow (listen to Oru Maalai from Ghajini, Kiru Kiru from Kaadhal and Ale Ale from Boys).

Well, thumbs up to more music from these two new guys, and to Rahman for discovering them!

I feel liberated. During my search for fellow bloggers, I stumbled onto some posts on the topics of harassment of women in public, by peop le who dare to speak out and against... Here are some links including the one for the Blank Noise project:

Divine Thoughts

Broken Bangles

Blank Noise Project

Spare some time to share the pain and angst of these women, and the passion with which they hope to make a difference!

Yesterday was Women's Day celebrations in office.

As is the practice every year, the girls in my dept (about 40-50) get dressed in ethnic wear (usu. saree) and come to office. We all get roses (bought after pooling in money ourselves), and meet at sometime during the day, sit together, have introductions around the group, have snacks,show off talent, rag some newcomers and generally have fun.

Something we do during the day is combat a range of questions addressed to us by our male colleagues:

"When is Men's Day?"

"What has wearing a saree got to do with womens issues?"

"Why do you ladies need a separate day to celebrate Women's Day, when we don't have any such thing"

Some smartass immediately answers: "That's because all other 364 days in a year are Men's Day".

Yet again, another wisecrack from the womens section is "Men's Day is on April 1. Don't you know that?"

etc. etc.

A colleague of mine pointed out something interesting to me. In the newspaper, there was a picture of 2 women sitting on a heap of broken glass (yes, broken glass!) from broken bulbs, and sorting out/cleaning/ something of the sort. The glass was most probably piercing their feet (which would have been bleeding, and probably used to the bleeding), and they were bearing it just because the work would entitle them to the meagre wages they earned each day to support their family. The picture was heartbreaking.

The fun we had in office was a stark and maybe cruel contrast to the picture, because it represented how isolated we were from problems real women face daily in this country, and in this world. I received emails throughout the day about women-power and how wonderful women were, and all I could think of was the picture.

But then, as I thought about it, I realized there were two sides to the coin after all:

One side being: Yes, we (who are cloistered in these IT concrete jungles) should spend some moments of our lives actually thinking of the women out there who are living difficult and unbearable lives, women who earn wages themselves and at the end of the day hand it over to their husbands keeping none of it for themselves, women who will feed their children and family but go hungry night after night, women who are burnt because of dowry issues/superstition, women who are beaten and abused day-in and day-out, women and very young girls on the road who beg at the traffic signals, and have little babies in their hands (it always amazes me to think that there are men out there who make these destitute women pregnant when they cannot take care of even themselves), female children who are killed in the womb because of their gender, Pre-puberty girl children married off/sold to aging men/brothels, girl children not sent to school because the parents have to afford her brothers education and so on... In fact, if possible, we shouldn't just spend some moments thinking about these girls/women, but doing something about them. Maybe fund a girl child, or join organizations that do service to women, or teach illiterate girls for free, or speak up against atrocities against women, and all that. Not for glory or for getting your pic in some newspaper/website, but as an expression of gratitude to the creator who didn't make you as unfortunate as them. There should be moments in our lives when we feel guilty if we take life for granted, if we, for even one moment, underestimate the power of money and squander it on things that we don't need, if we crinkle our noses on those unfortunate people or forget that they exist... Women empowerment should be taken to the streets and evils against women (however cliched they may sound) should be done away with.

But I also think of the other side of the coin. Yes, the women in IT concrete jungles are the fortunate ones compared to the ones I spoke about in the paragraph preceding this one. But I don't think that most women in this group lead unbelievably happy lives. The group of women, in my office or in any office for that matter, I'm sure would have many stories to tell: of how we have to protect ourselves from every leering man, groping hand and sexual innuendos we come across each day - and this is not only from when we join college/work, but from the age of 1. Every bus/train ride for a woman in India is a prospect for some type of molestation.Every girl would have atleast 5 different incidents to recite when asked about the comments she's received on parts of her anatomy.Most women have been followed by a man atleast once in her life, and many have been exploited/abused my members of her own family. And this is just the abuse story before marriage.

After marriage, women in IT struggle to balance the needs of the home and office.Waking up in the morning,making and packing food for the family,cleaning up the house,sometimes managing family members,paying the bills,coming to office and working in the corporate environment where she has to struggle to keep her place and be given the same amount of respect that male colleagues get,brush away the sexual overtones in office,handle male subordinates who refuse to respect her and male managers who are either indifferent/underestimate her/are too careful with her,come back home,buy groceries and household stuff,if they have kids - teach the children,worry about their marks/reports from school, their psychological profile (cos children whose mothers work are a mixed bag of emotions and feelings of insecurity), worry about their sickness and health, and if they don't have kids - worry about pregnancy issues/undergo treatment/be questioned about infertility/worry that the gender of their unborn child will become an issue in their family,cook dinner and think about what to keep ready for the next day,have arguments/fights with their partners, worry about compatibility issues with partners/family members and finally plonk themselves on a bed ready for the next day.Getting time for themselves might sound like a joke.

Of course, this is a sum total of a lot of the problems that exist, and everyone's life may not be exactly like this. And since there are devils in each avatar, I am ready to accept that devils do exist cloaked as women. But somehow, that section of population isn't all that large, so we can refrain from ignoring the real problems of the rest just because some of them happen to be bad apples.

My point at the end of it all is that while it is important for the newspap ers and the media to notice the very evident problems of women out there (of course, they don't do much about the problems other than report them) who struggle each day for bread and butter and the right to live in general; lets not forget that for each and every woman in India, each day brings a fresh repertoire of struggles, wherever and whatever she may be. It is important to wish women on Women's Day just as a mark of respect for their endurance and their capability, and for the fact that they all are alive and prepared to endure responsibilities and problems of life.

Women's Day is for women to show their solidarity and support to each other. To remember to have fun on their own and to forget day-to-day problems. In addition, we also have to remember that every constructive thing we do for the cause of women sows the seeds of an easier life for our upcoming generations. This should be the motivation for supporting any cause for social empowerment of women.

And please don't crinkle your nose at any woman - even if she is on a street in a dishevelled and smelly attire with a baby in her hands, begging at the traffic signal or if she is in a party in an expensive dress looking like she's having fun - because you don't know which one of them is contemplating suicide the next day.

Music has the power of uplifting the soul. Even in the most depressed state of mind, there is a piece of music out there in the world that can make you believe in love, or be that companion of loneliness to you...

I believe A.R. Rahman is blessed with divine power. His music rises above the mundane and touches that which is heavenly and other-wordly. Many of his creations have power; power to uplift my soul. There are pieces of his which don't agree with my aura and musical colors but I'm sure they would agree to someone else out there, so I don't mind them either.

Today morning, on my way to office, I was sitting and listening to Radio City, while my mind was mired with deep and unpleasant thoughts. A song of his played out and it surprised me that a song could lift me almost physically out of the confused state of mind I was in at that time. That is when I decided that I'd list on my blog 10 Hindi songs of AR's that had that power to uplift me. There are many many other compositions of his, other than just these 10 that I've listed, but then I'll need a lot of space to mention all of them, so I thought that 10 was a good number.

All these songs come from superb albums and I had a tough time choosing which of the songs I should feature from the album. Some of you may definitely not agree with my choices, but then as I said, these songs are the ones that have mattered most to me, and may not be the popular pick of the album. I made conscious decisions to pick only one song so that I could feature 10 different albums also in the list - choosing the one best song out of a fantastic album is impossible, especially when the album is A R Rahman's creation. And I deliberately avoided the Tamil,Telugu,Malayalam compositions and am featuring only the Hindi songs. Here is the result (in no particular order):

1. Paatshaala (Rang De Basanti): RDB is an album that's grown on me these past few weeks. I've spent some time on each song, getting besotted with it, and then moved to the next. I chose Paatshaala for the list because this is the first one to hit me out of the blues. Listen to it when you are in a complacent state of mind, or simply bored. It inspires you with force; force of togetherness and strength. The other contenders from the same album for a place on my list were Tu bin bataye, Khalbali, Be a Rebel (Paatshaala's English version) and Rang De Basanti (Title song). I just love all of them for their uniqueness: Naresh Iyer's voice in Tu bin bataye when he sings "Mann Ki Gali", the waves in AR's voice in Khalbali, the contagious "Say Hoi Oh Hoi" in Be a Rebel and the crazy freedom in Rang De Basanti.

2. Dekho na (Swades): Can love be better than this? I realized the quietness of love through this song. Being together with that loved one, and saying nothing, but gazing at the stars (like Shahrukh and Gayatri Joshi in the movie) while holding hands. The epitome of companionship. While I love each song of Swades, the other contenders were Ye Tara Wo Tara (for the inspiring lyrics by Javed Akhtar - "boond boond saagar he, warna he saagar kya he", "rang hote akele tho indradhanush banta hi nahin"), Aahista Aahista (Udit never sounded better), Pal Pal Hai Bhari (again lyrics: "Mann se Raavan jo nikale, Ram uske mann me he", and Madhushree's voice).

3. Fanaah (Yuva/Ayudha Ezhuthu): This is the song that came on Radio City today morning. A song with no beginning, and no end... no antara, mukhda, pallavi, anupallavi as I see it. Techno music at its best. Waves of brute force accompanied by drum beats, AR's and Sunitha Sarathy's gay abandon. Makes me want to just let my hair loose and go crazy... The Yuva/Ayudha Ezhuthu album is a technical marvel (listen to Dol Dol). All the songs are on the top, but I chose Fanaah for its sheer power. There is too much to say about the other songs, so I let silence speak :)

4. Saathiya (Saathiya/Alaipayuthey): I prefer the Pachai Nirame song in the Tamil version of Saathiya - Alaipayuthey. Sonu Nigam is a gr8 singer, but Hariharan in Pachai Nirame is to die for. Again, choosing Saathiya/Pachai Nirame when the album contains Chupke Se/Snegidhane is difficult. But the wavy melody in Saathiya is crazy... it transports me to a different world altogether, each time I hear it - I smell fresh green leaves, wet earth, cool breeze and flowers, even in the midst of the IT concrete jungle where I actually sit. And the synergy of colors in the tamil version (they didn't quite achieve it in Hindi) with the video, makes it one of the best videos ever made.

5. Radha Kaise Na Jale (Lagaan): Aah. The plight of every woman in love. Lagaan is a milestone album, but I think Radha kaise na jale is Rahman's best work in it. From the sound of the dandiya sticks, to the pure flute at the end... for those 5 minutes of listening, I inevitably soak in the mire of feelings it evokes - The besotted Radha in a quagmire of anger, jealousy and fury, combined with total devotion and love to Krishna, complaining about his affection for and the attention he receives from gopis, and he in turn, assuring and pacifying her with his love and smart repartee. Saroj Khan's dance movements in the song were amazing, esp. at the end where Aamir gives a naughty knowing look, while he mouths "Kahna ka pyaar kisi gopi ke mann me jo pale, kisliye Radha jale, Radha jale, Radha jale?"

6. Thaiyya Thaiyya (Dil Se): Strangely, I love this song the most in the entire album, much above the popular Chaiyya Chaiyya version. I felt this version was more pure, emotional and invoked the burning angst of love. Sukhwinder's voice is passionate, and transcends levels above excellent. Jiya Jale, and Ae Ajnabi from Dil Se are also outstanding compositions, but Thaiyya Thaiyya for me takes the cake.

7. Ramta Jogi (Taal): Hear this song to understand the technical effulgence of Sukhwinder Singh - this is one of his best songs. Creative brilliance from Rahman. One never knows when and where the song's pace changes - at one moment its the jogi in a drunken stupor reflecting on his love, and in the next moment, the music gains pace and reaches a crescendo where passion play meets racy love... Alka is also brilliant in this song. Taal se Taal mila (the original) also has some impressive vocals by Alka and Udit, but Ramta Jogi is outstanding.

8. Mangta He Kya (Rangeela): Aiyaiyo. If someone asks me to choose a fav Rahman song, I would really tear my hair out. This song starts on a chorus of "Jadoo" and unintelligible vocals... but it succeeds in setting a magical environment around you. Swetha Shetty's voice in this song is wisp-like and raucous by turns, and AR blends her voice with his own to create a startling synchronized effect. Music is total techno...I wasn't much appreciative of some part of the visuals of this song, like the part where they travel on a sofa in the sky. But the choreography at the start of the song, and at the end, justify the song completely.

9. Kuch bhi na socho (Bombay): Bombay is the first album with which I fell in love, with Rahman's music. I remember, I was in school in the 11th and I had some 50 rupees with me as pocket money. Went to the audio cassette store, and in a nervous voice, asked for Bombay - "the hindi version please". The guy handed over an audio cassette with a black,grey and red cover featuring Manisha and Arvind Swamy costing Rs. 26/-, yes, that's right :) That was of course when I'd never heard of a term called MP3 and couldn't even dream of a contraption called the iPod.
Kehna Hi Kya, Tu Hi Re, Hamma Hamma, Kuchchi Rakma are all deserving candidates on this list. But I reserved the place for the one song that I've always felt got less credit than it deserved. This is a crazy piece, filled with the innocence and playfulness of childhood; the music is a mixture of different voices, and creates calculated and beautiful chaos. The interlude of the baby gurgles is what makes this song so remarkable. Listen to it, and be transported into the world of children; without guile and the fallacies of life...

10.Yeh Hasin Wadiya (Roja): The pièce de résistance. The visuals of the song were very different from what I would have picturized it. I would see the romance of love in a night environment, complete with stars, the moon, candle light, and the twinkle in the lover's eyes. Mani Ratnam picturized this song in snowy locales and actually presented to me a different picture. The heavy chill that the music at the start conveys were justified by the visuals of the snow capped mountains, and the wonder in the eyes of the innocent, naive just-married bride. The music is everlasting. A worded symphony in the sensual tones of S P Balasubramaniam and the silvery voice of K S Chitra. When I first heard the tamil version of the song, I was amazed - didn't think that music like that existed ever before. Little did I know that it was just the beginning of creation for Rahman...

For those of you who're interested in knowing everything about Rahman, visit http://members.tripod.com/gopalhome/arrbio.html" title="http://members.tripod.com/gopalhome/arrbio.html" target="_blank"http://members.tripod.com/gop... and read about his biography and details till the year 2002.

Note: This post is strictly for people who're familiar with Indian Cinema, and primarily Hindi Cinema... 

For those of you who've watched the 51st Filmfare Awards ceremony on Saturday (25th Feb), you may understand some part of what I will be saying here:

8 of the biggest awards namely: Critics award for Best Director, Best Film, Best Actor, Best Actress, and Popular Award for Best Director, Best Film, Best Actor and Best Actress all went to the same film: Black, by Mr. Sanjay Leela Bhansali. I'm not mentioning the other small awards that the film picked up - Best Editing, Background Music etc.

You'd think that that was an achievement like none other - imagine a critics panel and a whole lot of audience, all agreeing on the same thing. The film must be one of the best movies India has ever seen, right?

Wrong. My views are that the whole set of those people have all just agreed on one thing: mediocrity and the propensity to agree with "the common notion".

The common notion being: "Sanjay Leela Bhansali is a great director, Amitabh Bachchan is God, the story is a great one (inspired by Helen Keller, designed to touch hearts and win awards) and Rani Mukherjee is the current queen of the marquee. Nothing can go wrong with the movie".

So okay. The movie is something in a new direction compared to the run-of-the-mill movies that Hindi cinema (Bollywood is a word that I detest, so I'm not using it here) produces. When I watched the movie, I was impressed with only one thing: the kid Ayesha Kapur. She was wonderful, fresh and new. I loved her portrayal of angst, of being trapped in a world without light and sound. And I liked the brief duration where her interaction with Amitabh the teacher was shown. But that was it, period. The rest of the movie just seemed to me like a premeditated attempt at garnering all the awards this season. Parts of the story were just unnecessary, for eg. the role of the sister. Here we have an innocent, blind and deaf woman who gets all the attention in the family, and next to her we have a jealous sister who's upset with all the attention the deaf-blind is getting. Okay, I understand that. But why give her such an undeveloped role? There is no beginning, explanation or solution given to the jealousy - the only reason i could find for the track to be there in the movie was so that the heroine would get a chance at an outburst and some histrionics at a dinner table (which reminds me of Sanjay Leela Bhansali's Khamoshi, where the dinner table was the primary location for outbursts). Also the sister's wedding gives the heroine a chance to ask her teacher to kiss her.

Amitabh's role transcends within the movie from the utterly stupid to magnificent to wacko. He has an introduction scene where he looks at a light-bulb and mouths some funny dialogues, an insipid love track between him and Mrs.Nair (was that Ms.Nair), some overtly dramatic and theatrical dialogues said to the kid's father - during those scenes, all I was wondering is what is the nature of the character that he's trying to portray? Eccentric is not crazy for heaven's sake. If the attempt was eccentricity, then God help Mr. Sanjay Leela Bhansali. From totally nuts, the man transcends to being lovable and nice for the rest of the movie till he loses his mind. Of course, those couple of scenes (where he realizes that he's beginning to forget) are the only ones truly justifying Amitabh Bachchan's craft. There's nothing much else to do in the last part of the movie with him in the thick of the Alzheimer's disease, since all he has to do is shake and walk around a bit searching for beds and walls. And of course try to say "water".

I do not want to say anything about the supposedly (quote: Mr. S L Bhansali) best actress in the country (was Mr. Bhansali purposely forgetting that this country has regional cinema and talent that he's probably not even seen?) and her role in the movie. Some of her actions were nice, but for the most part of the movie, I just felt that she was trying too hard. Her role didn't touch my core, and I thought Ayesha did a much better job. And there is just too much of emphasis of de-glamourized roles and sundry. What the hell. There are hundreds of actresses in this country who have done and are doing much better work, not just as heroines, but also in character roles, without all this hype.

Sanjay Leela Bhansali is a smart man, from what I've seen. He made one good movie (Khamoshi) with some flaws, but that was one movie which had its heart in the right place. It touched me, made me cry and to this day, I rate it as a great movie - some part of which had to be forgiven, but I'm ready to do that, just for the sheer brilliance some of the characters displayed. The movie bombed badly at the B-O. There was no publicity and too much of music, and the stars of the movie gave a thumbs down sign when the box office results came out. Mr. Bhansali was at that time a virtual nobody. Since afterwards, he came up with 3 big movies: Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam, Devdas, and Black, I assume that he spent some time thinking after his Khamoshi flop and came out with the success mantra, which is:

Don't ever be sincere to the subject completely and attempt to make a real movie - instead, lace the story with sincerity here and there, but add the commercial elements (like chips in a chocolate cookie) that are vital for your film to score at the B-O. Build hype about yourself - go to all the award ceremonies, put on a know-it-all face, put your mother's name in between yours, to emphasize how important she is to you so that a whole crowd of women just go: "he's so chweeet". Drag your mother to every awards function, and if you have to receive awards, take her with you on stage and tell everyone that you dedicate it to her. Make movies which are large in size, pretentious, and set in huge houses, which have ample spaces for heroines to run from one end to another (I think he has a special fetish for Aishwarya Rai running across huge hallways and on even bigger stairways). Have a color palette in your films and exhaust the viewer's eyes by filling up each screen with every possible color. Have a  couple of movies with lots of songs, a beautiful actress, a popular hero and another popular hero/heroine to make the triangle love story. Then go ahead and make a movie which has only background music, a black-gray-brown color palette, a heroine sans makeup, an ageing 60 year old hero who's the darling of the masses, and take a subject that is sure to pull the strings of every movie-goers heart. Be as secretive about this last effort so that critics/film magazines are clawing their way for sound-bytes. Release the movie, put up a martyr face and dedicate the movie to the deaf-blind. Say its a service to mankind. And walk away with all the awards, while people keep saying "waah waah. He's a brilliant craftsman", "Black is the most beautiful movie made in recent times" etc. etc.

I feel sorry for the Nagesh Kukunoors and Iqbals out there, the Hazaaron Khwahishen Aisi's, even the Sarkars, Paheli's and Parineeta's. The poor blokes really don't stand a chance do they? They are all up against a leviathan, built up of hype that blinds everyone's eyes to even mediocrity. I don't think there exist many people in the film industry who would stand up to this monster, and face it and say: "No, I don't think Black is such a wonderful movie as its portrayed to be". I mean, if they do, they would be swallowed in the disbelieving stares and the horror cries of the know-it-alls.  Mediocrity is in, baby. And talent is out.

Its times like these that I agree with Ayn Rand's objectivism theories, and want to go and read my copy of Fountainhead once more. I hate mediocrity. And I hate the public shunning of creativity too. And I wish that people like S L Bhansali stop being the media figure for such movements...

This week has been strenuous. I'm just done with a whitepaper that I had to submit to the client, and phew. 20 pages written in 2 days was no small feat... My brain feels pulverized and the brain liquid is pouring out of my ears... Okay, enuf of depressing stuff.

What is my point right now anyway, I mean, what do I want to say? I am at my work desk, typing aimlessly into the screen. Drinking warm black tea (warm because it is out of office hours already and the office boys don't bother keeping the water hot once office hours are over) which I've made too black for comfort, because I forgot to remove the tea bag out of the hot water after 10 seconds.

Oh yes. I've realized what the point I wanted to make was... I was just talking to a colleague of mine, asking him what he was going to do over the weekend. His answer was:

Today, I'll be washing clothes till about 2.00 in the night. I asked him why don't you do it tomorrow or the day after since today is Friday and tomorrow is the weekend... His answer is: "I have no idea what I'll be doing over the weekend. I make my plans on the spur of the moment, so I need to finish my washing beforehand".

Okay, that makes sense... But to wash clothes till 2.00 in the night - you know soak, beat, scrub, get your hands dirty in soapy water when its cold all around you,... eeek. That doesn't sound the least bit appealing to me. He says : "No problem. I'll be listening to Worldspace satellite radio, so I won't get bored".

Um. I still can't digest it but its your life, its your wish, and those are your clothes. He then says, tomorrow, I will clean my house (omigod. Are we talking to a clean freak here... I ponder), eat good food in the afternoon and probably go for a movie in the evening. I ask: "Alone?". He says: "Yes".

"I was born alone and like watching movies alone too. I don't have to worry about talking to anyone, and can watch the movie in peace and quiet". (For yours truly who hasn't seen a single movie in a theatre alone, this seems totally wierd.)

Next pearls of wisdom from the fella: In the evening, I will go to Cox Town, have food in one of my fav restaurants, and then start walking at 7.00 to my home. I ask him: "When will you reach your home then?". He says: "In about 2 hours. My home is in Malleshwaram."

#$Q%$#%#. I'm floored completely. Now I understand the guy and what he's been saying.... No, its not that I think he's crazy. Actually he's pretty sane - I understand now. He's a singleton. That's what he is.

And he enjoys single life. He has these elaborate plans of spending the weekend alone and actually looks like he enjoys it. I, on the other hand, after hearing him, feel miserable and scared. I mean, I cannot conceive of such a lonely life without anyone to talk to, or go out for a movie with, or go to a restaurant with. As the recognition of him dawns on me, I feel like I need to go out and hug a friend/family member of mine, just for being with me and filling my life with this sense of security...

People are so important.. the people that are there with you, but the ones that you just take for granted cos you're so engrossed in you and your lifestyle that you forget how these people contribute to you and your life. Happy life actually....

So today is to all those people who're there around me, to talk to , and to go around with. To call me up and enquire how I'm doing. To tell me to come visit them on the weekends, or to come and visit me. I love you all :D

Can you believe that I spent almost an entire weekend on bed? I had to take leave from office on Friday and spend a lousy time in bed cos I couldn't lift my head that was burning at 103 degrees the whole of Thursday night till Saturday morning!

The only solace I had is that I got to watch some nice movies huddled in bed, and succeeded in losing some of my miseries in them... You know,... movies are a wonderful world if you've got no friend or foe to turn to :)

I watched

1) What a Girl Wants: A very mushy mushy movie, totally built on the "live happily ever after" theory. There's this girl brought up by her young and very pretty mother in USA. She yearns for a father she's never seen, but of whom she has a photo and knows his identity... She wistfully looks at father-daughter dances in weddings and finally at the all important age of 17, goes on a trip to London to find her dad. He happens to be a very big politician on the road to being the British Prime Minister. The rest of the story deals with how she brings about changes in her dads life, and finally gets her mum and dad together, while finding a boyfriend for herself too... How perfect can things get 8). The movie ends with her mum and dad dancing under the stars together while next to them, she dances with her English boyfriend. The story isn't morose as I've made it out to be; it really had some nice points - would do for romantic and mushy hearted people like me :) just waiting for a Cinderella story to come her way...

2) Erin Brockovich: The exact opposite of the first one. Hard hitting and ironic at times, Julia Roberts is a darling in this one. Need I say more... I just love the last part where her employer gives her a check of 2 million dollars and she doesn't know that she's getting that much, instead she yells at him like crazy thinking that he's paying her less. Once she sees the amount, he smirks and asks her "Do models know how to apologize? I think not". What a cute man!

3) Minnale: Tamil movie - Madhavan, Reema Sen. The story, I can't digest. I think it is really disgusting to cheat a woman into love... its clear that Reema has no instant chemistry with Maddy when she meets him, and he talks her into love saying he's her fiancee. The poor woman believes it and when the real fiancee turns up, she realizes that she's spent way too much time with Maddy (5 days) and can't get him out of her system. Because of which she chooses him. Now I think the man's a sneaky creep to do that to a woman he loves... Nope. I don't agree with the story. But I can forgive Maddy because he has such a cute smile, and Reema because she makes the song Vaseegara one of the most sensual songs I've seen... just with her moves around the pole. Diya Mirza who was in the Hindi remake couldn't come a mile near.

4) Nuvvostanante Nenoddantaana - I have been waiting to see this one for so long, and I stumbled onto it in a cable channel. I won't say anything about the story since it looks like its taken from 2-3 ones with some resemblances to Maine Pyar Kiya's premise. But the movie belongs to Siddharth. and to some extent Trisha (just so that you don't say I'm partial). The man is this fireball... he has absolute quintals of energy and his face is a treat to watch :) He just has to smile to light the screen up... and I'm sure I haven't  had such a huge crush on a film actor in my entire life! This guy is dynamite and all I want to do is see him in more and more good movies... he's a wonder in himself. I'm not saying more, lest I drool all over this blog :D

NVNO had the lasting impression on me. Couldn't get the guy's face or actions out of my mind till Monday... and that's saying something :) If you don't like Siddharth as much as I do, then watch the movie for Prabhu Deva's directorial capers... the movie has a lot of Charlie Chaplinesque comedy ... there's this scene where Sid has cows wearing lipstick and dangling bells, and payal on their feet :D... and then the dances are wonderful. You can always bet on Prabhu to come out with unique dance steps with each movie of his... he is one guy whose choreography I never get tired of watching. And Trisha is the sweet simple girl with a heart of gold, and the occasional madness.

One scene that I love is the way the lovers blow at each from the balconies to their partners who are somewhere far away, and the partners react as if a huge gale is blowing against them. Cute really... in this age of speed dating, and changing partners faster than changing clothes, its refreshing to see love like this...

I'm liking tblog's new look and feel. Its made me interested enuf to actually go and edit my profile. What more, I've even added an avatar for myself, and put one of my pictures up for that. Want to know about the origin of my picture.

I got myself a digicam, and then was for some time all engrossed in taking cool pics at home and outside and editing it via Adobe Photoshop. My avatar is one of the results. I took a timed picture of myself on an evening after coming back from work. The picture sort of brought out the pensive side of my nature. So then I did some editing, added a yellow glow to my outline, removed the background (which included the grayed and old walls of my house) and then freso-fied the outcome. And presto. I get something I liked. The avatar is half of me. The actual picture also encompasses the wholebody minus torso part of me, but I decided that I didn't want that for my avatar...

Pensive and lonely me... quite interesting eh?

Feeling pretty disturbed on a Tuesday morning. I feel like a volcano rumbling under the surface, about to burst out lava. I have this feeling like life is going nowhere, and yet there are hundreds of things that I'd want to do... My mind is totally a vortex of red, hot colors swirling around, increasing my mental heat...

Am going home today and will be back next week Monday. Maybe the train ride and the reassuring chug-chug of the train will do something to soothe my nerves and get me back on track. Maybe my underlying energy will find a new direction to explode into... Maybe the thicket in my mind will clear slowly on its own, and I'll feel re-energized and find more clarity in my thoughts. Maybe the red colors will be channelized to something tranquil like Blue...

Saw Rang De Basanti on Saturday. Saw it primarily because of Siddharth's presence in the movie, and I wasn't disappointed. He's got a hell lot of coverage; amazing actually, when you consider the movie has an ensemble cast with 6 others, and the stalwart of them all: Aamir Khan. Sid's wonderful as usual; I've seen him in Boys and Ayudha Ezhuthu and he's one bundle of talent - totally contained, spectacul ar histrionics. The icing on the cake is his looks :)

The music of the movie is different and engrossing... Paatshaala being my favorite. Seeing the movie definitely increases your appreciation of the music. A R is fantastic as usual, and the music is total reinvention. GenX music definitely.  

Enough of the movie and music review. Have lots of work to do so will get going on that route...

Life is taking new turns for me with the new year. Some parts of my life is still mundane enough, with my daily routine of coming to office at 7.30 and going back home at 5.00 and sometimes at 8.00. But otherwise,:

1) I'm learning car-driving: Been going to this driving school in Koramangala, and have gone thru 12 classes - enuf to be able to steer the car properly, use the brakes, accelerator, clutch and gears. Haven't been taught reverse yet - that shud be done in my next class. And after 3 more classes, I shud be able to go for the driving test. Eeek. a small sliver of fear crawled up my spine right now. Will I pass? Won't I? Will I? Won't I?... the questions keep coming in my mind.

I've learnt one thing though - I'm not such a bad driver after all. I can drive on the lonely residential streets, and maybe even for a little while on the busy mainline roads. Only thing is that I just don't relax in the driver's seat. I'm so used to sitting upright and uptight at work, that I do the same even while driving and my instructor gets tired, trying to tell me to relax. And the other thing is that I swerve wildly when I see a dog in the middle of the road, however, I just don't notice human beings while they walk on the road, and keep forgetting to honk. End result being: My instructor tells me: "Kutthe ki jaan ki aapko parwah he, magar aadmi ko maarne mein koi darr nahin?". Roughly translated, that means: "You're worried about the life of a dog, but have no qualms about killing a man or two?"

2) I've applied for my passport: My childhood passport expired long long ago, and now I've finally applied for a passport re-issue. A long drawn out process which included a change-of-name submission, affidavit, printing the new name in the paper, providing the expired passport and taking 1000s of copies, filling two-three different forms, and standing for hours and hours @ the regional passport office and submitting it on 21 dec 2005. The police verification is done, and I shud be able to get my passport within a month now. What a relief!

3) I'm getting married!: Wait, now that did stun you didn't it :) Well, that was purely done for effect, and is as a blatant lie as I can get close to. The truth is, I'd like to get married this year, but haven't found the right guy. Somehow, things r just not as I imagined it. I wud have liked to find the right guy, somewhere, somehow; How would I know he was the right guy - well, in my imagination, I knew exactly how his eyes would look - how they'd peer out and be able to see through to my soul - how our minds would connect and our hearts would talk to each other. I know, I know; that's full blast romantic stuff straight outta the movies. But yes, that's exactly how I'd imagined it. All thru my childhood and my adolescence, I'd think: Yes, someone somewhere is there, made just for me. Someone enchanting, sweet n humorous, courageous and strong, a man of his words... someone who'd make me feel special and wonderful. And as I imagined it, I wud be meeting this person somewhere and just know that he was right.

Yet, things never really work out like that, do they? Magic and miracles r only for books and movies, as is love. The truth is, you may find someone but he may not be right as far as your parents n your future is concerned. The other truth is, that you may really never find that special someone at all. The second one applies to me. I looked everywhere but never could find that someone with those eyes that I would recognize.

Today at this late stage that I am at (late, cos I'm definitely a little too worldly wise to fall head over heels in love) all I can go for is try to find a guy through the well tried and tested arranged marriage process, and then try to adjust myself to him. And I'm headed that way, though it may not be the way my heart wants to follow. And then the reality is, how do I go the way my heart wants to go... I don't think the right man/'the' man is going to be seated on a bench in a park, waiting for me to come and whisk him away to the sunset. Besides, after seeing all the men around me, I've come to realize that romance probably never really exists for them. So I've just had to chuck my dreams and dumb hopes in the garbage bin, and just go in the direction the wind is blowing. I haven't got any closer to even settling for a guy who's nice and comfortable, so I don't know if marriage is anywhere in the near future. And hence, this point of mine is a total lie - something I've used to carp about my current situation. Well, three points are enough for now, so let me take the liberty of going back to the piles of work I have...

Anyway, Who knows what the future holds for anyone.

An update on my latest cultural activity:

I did the choreography for a marathi number (a fusion mix of dhagala lagi and aika dajiba songs) for a group of youngsters, and we went for the inter-corporate dance competition.

Here are a couple of pics:

What fun it was! We won the third prize, although unfortunately we missed the 2nd prize by 1/2 mark :( But getting the third prize among 13 teams is good enough, right! I've been revelling the whole of last week.

Two weeks of intermittent choreography and practice, and we really had good fun! I never knew Marathi songs were so peppy and comic. I had a blast doing the choreography and watching the team perform. Amateur dancers they were, but their commitment was impressive. A couple of fellas were really the highlight - cute and impish; adding the spice to the team. One of the judges came to us after the results were announced, and told us just how much he loved our dance, the energy, the choreography and the expressiveness of the girls. Thank you! That just was the icing on the cake :) As for the audience, I can proudly say, ours was the only song that really rocked them all!

Dhagala lagli kada paani themb themb kada... :)

What is with Bangalore's climate that makes my nasal passage all blocked and suffocated early in the morning?

Add to it, an accident that happened today morning, where I got sprayed liberally by this hideous perfume that my friend was putting on herself, and end result is a splitting headache and a feeling like someone's put an iron on top of my head, and wrapped my nose like you wrap Egyption mummys.

Had an eye test a couple of days ago. I don't what it is with eye-tests, that give me an irrepressible compulsion to cheat.

Have you ever cheated on eye-tests? Well, if you haven't, I'll tell you how to do it. The pre-condition is that you ought to have a large room where the doctor is visibly testing other patients - meaning that you can see the board they make you read clearly. Stand on some insignificant corner where you are less likely to get noticed. Pretend you're involved in studying the architecture of the room you are currently seated in, or otherwise, engrossed in some deep thought that makes your head go all around the room. However, during all this pretension, what you are actually doing is having looks at the reading board from the corner of your eyes. With each scan of the room try to pick up as many characters as are visible on the board. If someone catches you doing that, let's say the very helpful (read:pain in the ***) nurse who's sorting out the patients, pretend that you are trying to read with your eyes closed, in advance - like how the doctor tries to get you to do.

Memorize each line one by one, like a song. You're bound to get it right with practice. H T O V, X A W I D, etc.. Practice from top to bottom for heaven sakes, cos if you are really partially blind, and can see the last 4 lines clearly (the font size of each line is in decreasing order from top to bottom), and can't see the first three lines - he's gonna suspect. Leave the last line - even the best ones can't get that right :) But make sure you get the first 5 - 6 lines right. You're bound to get a 6/6 eyesight recommendation on your evaluation sheet.

There are some more acting tips that you need to keep in mind when you are reciting your lines - this would happen when the doctor puts that ridiculous metal glass on your eyes, and asks you to read. Initially read the first 4 lines as you've practiced, without any break. For the 5th, 6th ones, give some meaningful pauses, as if you are trying to read in earnest. Say um.. I think that's a D. The next looks like an X, ... wait, wait, I see its an N. etc.  In between all this earnest acting (that's bound to get you an Oscar) make sure you don't forget your lines. If you do, and instead of X W A I N, you read N I W A X, well kiddo, the doctor is gonna start suspecting you of foul. If he does say, the order is wrong, well, you can come up with some lame excuse about how your enthusiasm to read made you read it all out of order! But I can't guarantee he'll believe you.

What's the point of all this exercise? Well, If for one you have an annoying parent who's gonna strangle you if your eyesight has declined considerably after the last test - and gonna say "I told you not to glue yourself to the TV so much, or refuse to eat your carrots!", then you have all the motive for putting yourself thru this ardous exercise.

What are the benefits?:

1) The doctor says - "Oh, he/she has perfect eyesight; don't you worry ma'am!"

2) You find your memory power improving rapidly, and you are stretching that mental rubber band of yours to remember such complicated sequences of characters. You are definitely in line to be the next Shakuntala Devi.

3) Your neck gets a lot of exercise with all the scanning you do around the room.

4) You are getting lots of practice for performing other furtive acts in the future.

The downside:

1) You stand a good chance of developing a squint, what with all the looking at the board from the corner of your eyes.

2) If you really have an eye problem that should be diagnosed before you turn into a blind bat, then ... ignore all this that I've written, be honest and take the test properly :)

Forget that you're gonna be insulted by your loving parent/in front of your other peers who are 6/6 in each eye - cos being truthful here is only going to be beneficial to you!

Before I close, wanna know what I finally did with my compulsion to cheat, and how I fared in the eye-test? Well, I threw the compulsion out of the window, although I had all the chance in the world to cheat. For one, my mom wasn't hovering all over me, and I wasn't worried that I'd be soup for lunch, if she finds out how my eyes have turned out... So I decided that since its only me that I have to answer, honesty was the best policy.

As for how I fared, well, I've been with and without glasses since childhood, and the doctor's told me that it really doesn't matter even if I don't wear glasses. I only have anti-glare specs that actually act as comforters for a lifestyle where I'm required to stare at a white screen all day.

Hellloooo there!

I'm back :) Have been down and out for a while; hibernating, I would say... My life is becoming all too predictable, and monotonous. Come to work in the morning, go home in the evening, watch TV, go to sleep, get up the next morning, get dressed and come to work again.

The only difference is that the days amount to weeks, and then months, and then years, and here I am growing older and older... Not a pleasant thought surely. There are times when I want to age faster, and then there are sometimes that I think - hey. I am still 10 yrs old in my mind. Then how come my body is going on 26?

But then, someone somewhere has said - you are only as old as you think. So in effect, I would be around 10. I'm not saying I'm childish, mind you. I don't lisp or throw tantrums, or act like a baby.

But I do believe in dreams, magic, miracles, and love... Um.

I believe in Magic...the magic within the world, the magic of rain and sunshine, the magic of a child's smile, the magical sound of the woods and the birds. Dreams... dreams of everything being good and nice,.. of leprechauns and the pot of gold where the rainbow ends. Dreams of angels and mischievous elfs. Miracles,... the miracle of childbirth, the miracle of the stars, planets and the universe, the miracle of the rose and the thorn co-existing on the same plant... And finally Love... Love that is pure, eternal and joyous. Love that in itself is a miracle. Love that transmits when two lovers hold hands,... love that is in the eyes and not in the words. Love for which verbal communication is absolutely unnecessary, just a nod or a look is enough. Love that fills the human self with fulfillment, with contentment. Love that is whole.

They all exist, don't they?